Hmm...

Well, checking on my blogs.  My apologies to those who actually followed this one that I've not continued it since 2009.  Nothing happened to me, my interests just got diverted, and we moved.  We are now living on Salt Spring Island and I've no idea if I'm going to continue this now.  So much has happened in six years that I wouldn't know where to start.  And, I'm finally back to working on my book on our lives in Belize.  So, this isn't really a continuation of Vasquez Views, just a greeting to those of you who followed me.

The Revelation to St. John

I found myself reading the Revelation to St. John late last night. My meditative mood has me going back to the Holy Books fairly regularly. I feel extremely weak these days, failing in many things, feeling apathy about a lot, such as my health, and why bother indulging in my love of spiritual conversation since most people do not respond to it well. I only seem to be able to find comfort in my own learning. I get some satisfaction from what little work I have, and gardening helps, but my mind doesn't seem to want to get off of my powerlessness and weakness these days. Not uselessness, exactly, but certainly not capable of causing change in myself, nevermind in anyone else. How many times have I gone off of sugar, which I have known since I was 21 makes me very ill, only to fail and cause all the problems it causes in my body and mind? Why bother trying again? And how many times have I decided on an exercise routine that I think I can stick with, looking for something I think I will enjoy, only to stop almost before I start - again. I am declining a lot of Baha'i service because I don't have the mental energy for it. One of my Baha'i friends, when I recently declined offering my services on too grand a scale for our community's annual summer event, told me that even trees go into dormancy when they need to. I know she wished to offer comfort, and I did take some comfort from it. I'll allow myself a break. But I know that I go into spiritual declines rather rapidly if I take breaks that are too long from service.

Anyway, Since Jovani and I have been reading 'Abdu'l-Baha's Some Answered Questions and there are several references to Christian subjects in it, I was drawn to the New Testament last night. I recognized things that were actually fulfillments of the Old Testament as well, such as mentioning the opening of the seals, when Daniel was told to "Seal up the books." But the interpretation of what those seals are is something where people start a lot of guessing. Understandably. However, everywhere I saw a reference to "1260 days" or "twelve hundred and sixty days" I thought, "That's familiar. What is that?" So I went back to Some Answered Questions in case it was there, and found it in "Commentary on the Eleventh Chapter of the Revelation to St. John" - 1260 is from the Muhammadan calendar, and is the number in the Koran that predicts when the spirit of Muhammad will return. The Bab declared His mission in the year 1260 of the Muhammadan calendar -1844 of the Gregorian calendar.

I found the Revelation to John interesting because of its timing. I know that Christians understand Jesus to be "the Lamb of God", and there may be some Biblical references to that - I don't really know. But if they're getting that from John, it doesn't make sense because it is full of predictions for the future, and Jesus had already come. So how can the "Lamb" that John talks about be Jesus? Given similarities in Their lives and the way They both died, and some other indications, I tend to think that the Lamb is the Bab. There are also a few references to a "new name" in John. How can Jesus return with His own Name if He is supposed to have a new name?

Actually, there was a lot of stuff in the Revelation to John that I rather quickly recognized as having been fulfilled by the Bab and Baha'u'llah, but I still find myself wondering WHY Christ inspired John to write SO allegorically. Actually, Baha'u'llah explained that it is so that those who are materialists WON'T recognize Him because Jesus didn't want those people to recognize Him when He returned, but holy smokes, what a way to make it virtually impossible for ANYONE to recognize Him.

My nephew was asking me, when he was here before leaving for Saskatoon, (and I had no idea how knowledgeable Rowan is on Biblical matters - he illustrated to me how St. Paul specifically says that the Resurrection was spiritual, not physical, but he lost me in his explanation of that - maybe I was not quite mentally alert enough but Rowan's brain boggles my mind sometimes - he's both brilliant and spiritual), if I would have believed in the other Messengers of God based solely on their Person and their Word. I had to honestly respond that I don't think so. My sister thought I was being dogmatic. I said, "Not really, I'm just discovering that I'm not nearly as great as I thought I was." She laughed, "Ah, learning humility." A little too profoundly, I think.

Would I have believed in Baha'u'llah based solely on His Person and His Word? It is impossible to say, of course, but His Word strikes me as impossible to have come from merely an inspired human being. From His Person? I don't really know, since I've never enjoyed the gruesome history of religion and therefore haven't studied it much. Some people love the stories of the martyrs and the life of Baha'u'llah. Too much suffering for my liking. I did enjoy the first two books of "The Revelation of Baha'u'llah" by Adib Taherzadeh, though it has been years since I read them. I quit half way through the third book.

Well, my mind is suddenly a blank, and I'm hoping that means that all the thoughts that have been swirling around my head will take a rest. I don't much want to be thinking about these things because it is a lonely endeavour. I don't seem to have much choice. At least Mom likes to discuss them.

Blessed

The dictionary definition that applies to the kind of blessed I'm talking about is "divinely or supremely favored, fortunate."

I've decided to blog this because I can't seem to get out of my meditative mood and three meditative letters to everyone, some who I KNOW are not interested in my meditative thoughts, seem a bit much.

I was reflecting, when I woke up this morning, that every moment of every day is a moment in which we reassess our own faith. Most moments it is not so consciously done. If we choose to identify with any particular faith system, at any moment something can happen that causes us to wonder if we have chosen correctly. Usually such moments are not really all that traumatic or challenging to truths we have have long accepted. Occasionally something happens or someone says something that makes us go back to the Books, if only to reaffirm what we already know to be true. Seldom is there a moment that makes us seriously doubt. Probably a good thing - those moments are painful, traumatic, and often, life-changing, for good or for bad - and even that latter is a human judgment, not a Divine one. However, serious doubt can and does happen, and while probably useful because without it we would likely become complacent - and not genuinely be searching for the truth - not something a person wishes to go through every day.

And when we get over them such that we either confirm what we already believe or choose a different path entirely, it is still only one such moment - or series of moments - in an entire lifetime of moments in which God can allow or assist us to change our views entirely. Which brings me to the idea of being "blessed."

There is a passage from Baha'u'llah that goes thus: Blessed are the steadfast; blessed are they that stand firm in His Faith.

My entire life I have been reading such passages as "Rewarded are they". Because I have remained a Baha'i all my life, have managed, through many trials and tests of my faith to continue to believe in Baha'u'llah, I have imagined myself "rewarded", if not in this life, though possibly that, then definitely in the life to come. It occurred to me this morning that I have misunderstood it all my life. "Blessed" is closer to being a "recipient of grace" than it is "rewarded." "Rewarded" implies that I have done something to merit remaining firm in my faith in Baha'u'llah through all the individual moments in my life when I might have chosen otherwise. "Blessed" actually means that, thanks to Him, I am still a Baha'i. It is very, very humbling.

A Day in the Life of the Self-Employed Bookkeeper

Well, I'm beginning to realize that "bookkeeper" is a very liberal term, depending on what one is willing to do as a bookkeeper.

Last week some time, an older gentleman called when I was not here, asking to talk to the "accountant". When Mom said I wasn't here, he started explaining that Telus was trying to rip him off and he needed help sorting out his phone bill. Mom slowed him down and said she didn't know what she or I could do about it, but said I would be back later, and gave him a rough time to call. However, Dad also spoke with the man and gave him directions to the house.

The time that Mom suggested he call was also the time that our first Local Spiritual Assembly meeting of the Baha'i year was to start, and he ARRIVED at that time. So I sat down with him, a flustered but pleasant man, to figure out what the problem was. He was willing to sign his whole life over to me if I could just fight with Telus for him because he was sure he had paid this huge bill that he just got. I told him that I doubted they would talk to me, but I would try. However, I didn't promise to get it done within the next few days - too much tax work still.

About a week later, (two days ago) he showed up on my doorstep again, showing me a disconnection notice. I promised, through much emotionally charged conversation on his part, that I would do what I could, but that he should be prepared to pay the huge bill to avoid disconnection.

So I did sit down yesterday to figure it out, between phone calls to clarify information, and then he just arrived again with more information. It wasn't looking good for him though.

Enjoying my Victoria Day sleep-in, the phone rang at 9 a.m., and it was this same gentleman, saying he wanted to come pick up all the paperwork he had left with me so he could just go in and pay the amount he believed he owed tomorrow. I groggily replied "Give me about half an hour". He said, "Oh, I guess that's reasonable."

By the time he got here at around 10:15, I had clearly established in my own mind that the only thing Telus was guilty of was legal highway robbery - his phone bills added up just fine. So I sat him down with a cup of coffee, and systematically showed him what had happened, with an apology that it wasn't turning out the way he had hoped. He was some deflated, poor man, and then asked what he owed me. I had only spent an hour on figuring out what had happened, so I charged him what I charge for an hour of bookkeeping, plus GST. A lot of drama for $26.25. As he was leaving, however, I pointed out that he is paying 16 cents a minute for his LD phone calls in North America, and almost $2/minute for his LD calls overseas. I told him I only pay 3.5 cents for my North American calls. He said, "I'll give you another $40 if you'll get me onto a long distance company that is cheaper." I told him I would work on it, but that I can't just change long distance phone companies for him. It will just mean that I'll have to find the best rate for him, and then go over to his house and walk him through the change on the phone.

I have the feeling I will be seeing a lot of this gentleman. Prices are going up, fixed incomes don't rise, and he admitted to being "nervous" and not being able to deal with some things. I can just see this frustrated old man telling other frustrated senior citizens, "Oh, take it over to that little girl in Whitelaw, the bookkeeper, she helped me figure out a problem with my phone bill and got me on a plan that I pay a lot less, and she hardly charged me anything to do it." (Old men often call any woman more than ten years younger than they are "that little girl.") Pretty soon I'll be the refuge that all the confused older people run to, to sort out their confusing bills.

Nonetheless, even if the result wasn't quite what he wanted, it was good to be able to clarify something for him and calm him down a bit, just by being calm myself and taking him through it step-by-step.

In other news, I took Jessa and Aislinn over to "Auntie Tineke's", (she's a lady whose son goes to school with Jessa, and apparently all the kids call her "Auntie Tineke" (Teenika), for them to check out the piano she had for sale. We now have a nice piano, rather than a keyboard, for the girls to practice on, thanks to Grandma. Jessa was getting so that she needed a pedal. Jessa is very pleased, and is beginning to compose her own music, so I think having a real piano, and maybe I'll buy her some piano music just a little above where she is currently, and she'll be playing around on the piano, making real music, just for fun.

Dad has just called supper.

Sushi is back

Well, I'm a little confused about why these people did what they did, but I think the advice of Andrew, the by-law officer, is good, and that I should just leave it alone.

I spoke with him a few times and the law was clearly on our side because I legally adopted Sushi and he was the one who took care of the adoption. However, as usual with me, I cared less about the legalities and more about what was right. I would make a lousy lawyer. If they had had proof that she was originally theirs, I'd have been in a quandary about what to do, despite the fact that it took them five months to make a claim and we're only a few doors down from them, because she was in such miserable condition when we found her, yet if they had bought her, I'd have felt like I should give her back. Fortunately, it has been taken care of without such complications.

Not quite so sad today.

Life Happens

Well, the Martin Kerr concerts were wonderful and exhausting. Martin sings everything from children's songs to pop songs with uplifting messages to everybody's favorites, like the Alleluya song from Shrek. One of the teachers at the school commented that his rendition of that gave her goosebumps, and another said he made her cry. I was so glad to be able to arrange his performances and visit with him myself a little. Anyone interested in learning more about him and his music, or perhaps scheduling a concert or two can look up all the info on his website: www.martinkerrmusic.com.

After the concert yesterday, Jovani asked me to go to the school with him while he coached soccer. He does a good job of that and the children all respond to him well. He's got some good soccer players there too.

Then we took the girls to their piano recital last night, and all three did us proud. Aislinn swore she was not ready but played beautifully.

I was so tired I left Jovani to put the girls to bed. Then we had a lazy morning this morning but eventually got up to get ready for the arrival of four of Jessa's friends for her birthday celebration. Shortly before noon, Aislinn came in to tell me that Sushi got out of the house and she went chasing after her down the street, only to try calling her when she went into someone's yard. That someone was holding Sushi and not letting her go. He told her that he would come and talk to us later. Aislinn knew better than to go into a stranger's yard and try to grab Sushi away, so she ran home to tell me what had happened. I had a very bad feeling about it. I asked Jovani to go deal with it, so he went to see what was going on.

It seems that this couple believes Sushi to be their Maggie, a pure-bred Shih-tzu. They say they have the papers to prove it. Jovani explained how we found her and that we had been through all the necessary legal processes to adopt her, to which he received the reply that they didn't care about any of that, she's their dog and we can bring the RCMP or whoever we want, but they aren't giving up the dog.

Jovani spoke courteously and said that he would have to call the by-law officer, and came home. I called the by-law officer who helped us adopt the dog, and we are now waiting for him to come over to deal with the matter.

I am of two minds. The attitude of these people is unnecessary. Had they come looking for her - I've walked past their house with Sushi many, many times, as it is on the way to the school - and produced proof that the dog was theirs before we adopted her, I would have handed over the dog. Reluctantly, because she had obviously been badly neglected, but I would not have argued. However, suddenly laying claim to the dog six months after she's gone missing, when they could have approached us any time, asking if we'd found a Shih-tzu - well, it just isn't right. But neither do I want to respond in kind. 'Abdu'l-Baha says not only that we are supposed to forgive people who do us wrong instantly, but "If they poison your lives, sweeten their souls." I have no desire to get into a major battle with my neighbour over a dog, much as I am very, very fond of that dog. If I felt certain she would be well cared for I doubt I would make any waves even if the dog is legally ours. But she was scrawny, filthy and miserable when we found her. How can I just let her go back to such people?

So, we wait for the by-law officer to take care of the matter, and meanwhile I am missing my tail. Sushi followed me everywhere, just waiting for me to sit down so she could jump on my lap. She ran out of the house on one of the few occasions that she wasn't with me. No doubt it will be hardest when I go to sleep tonight and she's not right up on the bed at my back.

I'm a little sad today.

May 11th

In deference to the guy who doesn't want so much pink showing on his screen while reading my blog, I have changed layout and colours. Thank-you for my morning laugh, David.

It is Jessamine's 11th birthday today. Yesterday her Auntie Heather and Auntie Bernadette (also known as Uncle Bernie) came for a quick Mother's Day visit. They brought tulips and lemon cream cake. We spent as much time out in the lovely May sunshine as we could. Because her aunt and uncle were here, we presented her birthday presents to her yesterday. She was given some little sun catchers for her bedroom, a pair of capris (when did we stop calling them pedal-pushers?), the newest Taylor Swift CD, a soccer ball and a croquet set.

The big events of this week will be the concerts given by Canadian Idol finalist Martin Kerr, in our home and in Whitelaw School on Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon, respectively, the girls' piano recital on Thursday night, and then Jessa's official birthday celebration on Friday.
Meanwhile I have loads of work I'm supposed to be doing for bookkeeping and tax clients, and I promised to bring a couple of cakes in at noon for her class so the whole class can have some birthday cake.

We had a wonderful Ridvan celebration at my sister's house in FSJ on May 2nd, with Baha'is from here, Grande Prairie and Dawson Creek attending for prayers, lots of good food, and a nature walk through the Fish Creek Community Forest. The path was still icy and I almost fell several times. I visited with Carolyn of Dawson Creek on most of the walk. Her daughter, Raquel, is trying to go on a youth year of service in Chad, in August or September. Carolyn was telling me that she asked someone who had lived in Africa for a number of years if she would go back, and the woman's response was, "Oh, I would never go to Africa."

This made me think about if someone were to ask me if I would ever go to Belize. My initial response would likely be something similar, although I learned long ago never to say never. However, the truth of the matter is, even if *I* have no desire to return to Belize, I would not presume to suggest whether someone else should. Who am I to say that it isn't just what someone else needs? I think after almost five years back in Canada, I can give a fairly objective response to someone looking to travel to or do service in Belize. It isn't all peaches and cream, although most people think it is for the first few months, but neither is it hell on earth, much as it felt that way for the last few years for me. It is a place like most others - it has its pros and its cons. I suppose it all depends on what one wants.

The day before we went to the Ridvan celebration, my darling little Jessa dropped a table on her foot while helping to clean up at school. There were left over treats from an important visit, and her teacher tried to ply her with treats to make her feel better. Jessa thought that was funny, and assured him it was not necessary. He also praised her for being his best helper. I had to go pick her up from school because she could not even hobble home, so I brought Aislinn with me, who had the day off of school, and piggy-backed Jessa into the car, leaving Aislinn to walk home with Meadow when school was let out a half-hour later. Aislinn was delighted to visit with her friends among the staff from last year while waiting for her little sister.

Jessa's foot is still bruised and sensitive, but she has managed to do more than I would have given her credit for only a couple of years ago. When she was little, every bump and bruise received a great outcry. But as I said to Mr. P., her teacher, "My wimp is no longer a wimp." He said, "Jessa's not a wimp!" I said, "Not anymore, she's not." Jessa is turning into an interesting, vibrant, happy, intelligent, helpful and compassionate young lady, at only 11.

Well, I better go get ready to take the cake over to the school.

Love,